this is a TRUE STORY about past generations

Discussion in 'Past Generations' started by Smacktard, Apr 2, 2017.

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QUESTION NUMBER ONE: if you were a door, what type of door would you be

  1. HARD wood ;)

    33.3%
  2. SOFT wood ;(

    33.3%
  3. smacktard door

    33.3%
  4. i would not want to be a door, i would be a gate

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  5. all of the above

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  6. QUESTION NUMBER TWO:

    33.3%
  7. What is your favourite part of the story?

    33.3%
  8. The middle

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  9. The end

    33.3%
  10. Insert your own response here: ______________________ (please reply in comments and don't forget to

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. Smacktard

    Smacktard even steven Premium Member

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    Posts:
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    “You’re doing me a huge favour showing me this place,” ColoradoAvalancheFanMatt said.

    Ants blushed. “It was no problem, really. It is my job, after all!”

    “Yeah, but offering to fly me all the way out here just to see a few places that I might not even buy? That’s incredible! Where can you find customer service like that nowadays!?”

    “You’re not a customer, ColoradoAvalancheFanMatt, you’re a friend.” Ants stared deeply into ColoradoAvalancheFanMatt’s eyes. He smiled a shy, crooked smile. “And hopefully, maybe even more…”

    Ants clapped his hands together before the shocked ColoradoAvalancheFanMatt had a chance to respond. “So! Let’s keep moving. In here you’ll find...” He pushed the door open.

    “Wait, wait. There’s no knob in this door,” said ColoradoAvalancheFanMatt.

    “No, not yet,” said Ants. “A few minor kinks still need to be worked out. But don’t worry, everything will be in time for you to move in if we seal the deal.” Ants gripped ColoradoAvalancheFanMatt’s shoulder. It was a touch both firm, yet tender. Like the way you hold one of your balls while checking for lumps. Ants guided ColoradoAvalancheFanMatt into the master bedroom.

    “The bedroom looks great,” said ColoradoAvalancheFanMatt.

    “Lots of room for activities,” agreed Ants.

    “And the cream-colored walls. I love cream!”

    “There’s a reason the say this is where the magic happens,” said Ants. His gaze was fixed firmly on ColoradoAvalancheFanMatt.

    ColoradoAvalancheFanMatt turned around to see Ants fingering his tie, which was pointing directly at the massive, plantain-sized bulge in his pants. Suddenly, everything started to make sense to ColoradoAvalancheFanMatt. The constant touching. The blushes. The way Ants kept biting his lip and laughing at all ColoradoAvalancheFanMatt’s jokes. That time Ants said how he wanted to have ColoradoAvalancheFanMatt’s dick and balls in his mouth after he’d picked him up from the aiport. ColoradoAvalancheFanMatt had been too wrapped up in the euphoria of getting out of Colorado. Despite being a trained and experienced mediocre poker player, he hadn’t noticed any of Ants’s tells. Until now.

    “Well you know what they say about magic…,” said ColoradoAvalancheFanMatt.

    The cold, disinterested tone of his voice made Ants nervous. I showed my hand too soon! He’s figured it out, and he’s not interested. Of course ColoradoAvalancheFanMatt’s not interested in me! With a name that long, he could have anyone he wanted. I should’ve just kept quiet.

    Ants managed to stammer a reply. “N-no. W-what do they say?”

    “It’s easy to fall for the right charms,” said ColoradoAvalancheFanMatt, with a smile. He was into it.

    “Hocus pocus,” Ants replied. In a flash, his pants were down at his ankles.

    ColoradoAvalancheFanMatt grabbed Ants’ wand and guided it towards the hole in the door.

    “Stick that knob in here!” ColoradoAvalancheFanMatt commanded.

    “It – it barely fits!” said Ants, blushing and covering his face.

    ColoradoAvalancheFanMatt used the suction from his practiced mouth to hoover Ants’ palpitating penis through the hole.

    “F*ck the house!” shouted ColoradoAvalancheFanMatt as he repeatedly pulled open and slammed the door on Ants, giving him a good old-fashioned domestic jerking.

    “I’m going to finish!” moaned Ants.

    “Give me the magic!” urged ColoradoAvalancheFanMatt.

    “Abraaaaa-CADABRA!” wailed Ants, as he pumped thick semen directly into ColoradoAvalancheFanMatt’s eyes.

    The two collapsed into a jizz-soaked heap on the floor.

    And from the cum-coated door ushered a thought:

    And here I thought it was a curse, thought Smacktard, when that wizard turned me into a plank of wood.
     
    shortkut likes this.
  2. Ants!

    Ants! Therapist Premium Member

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2002
    Posts:
    14,098

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    Fifty Shades of Matt.
     
  3. Jon

    Jon Official Thread Killer Premium Member

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    Dec 1, 2000
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    I think I'm too young to have read this.
     
  4. Tokugawa

    Tokugawa Endless Apocalypse Premium Member

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2005
    Posts:
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    I always had Ants pegged for a catcher not a pitcher.
     
    Ants! likes this.